News reports?

Message received on 3Sep2009 10:24:24 PM from JGan by SMS:

Johor Bahru, 3 September- A recent study has shown that drinking coffee can increase your brain power and thinking. Coffee contains lots of caffeine, which is a stimulant that keeps the mind awake and alert. As a result, people who drink coffee are able to stay focused and awake especially during boring lessons such as Mathematics and History. A recent survey among the 5 Science 1 students found out that one of every one student takes coffee to stay alert and burn the midnight oil especially when there is a important History exam the next day. One of the students say that drinking coffee helps him to stay awake all night long while preparing for the exam he has to face tomorrow. Coincidentally, this student was the only student who participate in the survey because the reporter did not have time to interview other students. What came as a bigger shock was the fact that the reporter and the student shared the same name! Isn't it such a small world? However, there are certain side effects from taking too much coffee. It has been reported that after consuming approximately 4 cups of Nescafé, certain people start to imagine that they are newspaper reporters and write nonsensical news reports before forwarding them to random friends. However, this can be corrected if the friends who received the nonsensical news report send encouraging messages to the person suffering from acute Nescafé intoxification. Thus, if you know any1 who suffers this disease, please send him some encouragement to help him.

By: JGFS.

Message sent on 4Sep2009 05:39:ss AM to JGan by SMS:

Johor Bahru, 4 September- A recent study has shown that by sleeping for 9 hours before studying for history test does not help in memorizing any history facts at all. People who just wake up in the morning normally find it hard to regain consciousness and feel drowsy due to the inability to fully control their brains by will. Sometimes, without regaining consciousness, one does not intend to want to regain consciousness without consciousness. As a result, people who sleep too much before studying for history exam often fail in memorizing history facts or even try to memorize the history facts. A recent survey among the 5 Science 1 students shows that one of every one student find it hard to memorize all the history facts early in the morning within just two hours right before the history exam after a 9-hour-sleep. One of the students said that he even kept imagining himself on failing history exam before he took the exam and even before he tries to memorize the history facts. Coincidentally, this student was the only student who participate in the survey because the reporter did not have time to interview other students. What came as a bigger shock was the fact that the reporter and the student shared the same name! Isn't it such a small world? In addition, people who sleeps too much are also often prompted to imagine themselves as news reporters and start writing nonsensical news report to reply to another nonsensical news report written by another friend that was send it to them. ... [to be continued]

Message sent on 4Sep2009 05:43:ss AM to JGan by SMS:

[continues] ... Not only so, the most the most serious effect is that according to one of the patient who suffers from acute Imaginative- After-Long-Sleep disorder, he can't come to sense to realize the importance of the history exam that is just a few hours ahead and still spends about an hour trying to write a illusory responding news report to his friend who sent him another delusive deceiving news report to try to make him fail his history exam. Moreover, the responding news report consist of plenty of grammatical errors. However, this can be corrected if the person who suffers from this disease is given a proper lecture. Thus, if you discover any of your friends with these symptoms, try to make them regain consciousness by slapping them or encourage them to consult for counselling.

By OXZ.

That was madness.
LOL anyway. If you get it.



2232 hours - 4th of September, Year 2009