Who cares 'bout the title of the blog!?

Marketing 101

2010-09-03T14:36:00.002+08:00

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. Marry him.” – That’s Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.” – That’s Telemarketing

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:” By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?” – That’s Public Relations

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:
“You are very rich! Can you marry Me!?” – That’s Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. – That’s Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. – That’s demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tells her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” And she goes with him – That’s competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. – That’s restriction for entering new markets

10. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and say, “I’m richer than your husband. Divorce him, claim alimony and marry me. Together we will be richer and more prosperous.” – That’s Merger and Acquisition?

By Samuel R. OR Samir Kamble OR both OR probably more authors OR maybe maybe just one which I have no idea about him/her.

Copied and pasted from here.

1300131300

2010-08-29T15:04:00.003+08:00

Operator: McDonald's delivery, how may I help you?
Me: I would like to order for a delivery.
Operator: Can I have your name please sir?
Me: This is Mr. ***.
Operator: Can I confirm your phone number is zero one ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **?
Me: Yeah.
Operator: And the delivery address is ** ** ** ** ** **?
Me: Yeah.
Operator: How may I take your order sir?
Me: I'd like a medium double GCB set.
Operator: Anything else sir?
Me: Yeah, I'd like to change the regular coke to a diet coke and that's all.
Operator: Okay, so you have a coke light.
Me: Yeah (assuming she was trying to tell me I want a coke light)
Operator: Anything else sir?
Me: That's all.
Operator: Okay sir, your total including delivery fee would be twenty one ringgit fifteen cents sir.
Me: Oh yeah, no ice for the drink too.
Operator: Anything else sir?
Me: No, that would be all.
Operator: Okay sir, your total including delivery fee would be twenty one ringgit fifteen cents sir.
Me: Okay.
Operator: Anything else sir?
Me: Err, no.. That's all.
Operator: Okay sir, your total including delivery fee would be twenty one ringgit fifteen cents sir.
Me: Okay.
Operator: Your order number is 106-***** and delivery would be made within 45 mins. Thank you for calling sir, have a nice day sir.
*Hung up.

JeaneRozancetgity@hotmail.com?

2010-03-31T15:00:00.001+08:00

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The English Language

2010-02-24T08:43:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

Copied and pasted from http://www.ahajokes.com/eng002.html

Another conversation..

2010-02-18T00:47:00.001+08:00

Strange, I always like to post our conversation here.. Why?

Date	Time	From	To	Message
2/18/2010	12:32:41 AM	o x z ™	joshua	::NUDGE::
2/18/2010	12:32:54 AM	joshua	o x z ™	::NUDGE::
2/18/2010	12:33:12 AM	joshua	o x z ™	wassup oxz?
2/18/2010	12:37:34 AM	joshua	o x z ™	where are you now/
2/18/2010	12:37:36 AM	joshua	o x z ™	?
2/18/2010	12:39:10 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Home
2/18/2010	12:39:11 AM	o x z ™	joshua	JB
2/18/2010	12:39:25 AM	o x z ™	joshua	You?
2/18/2010	12:39:29 AM	joshua	o x z ™	going cs tmr?
2/18/2010	12:39:33 AM	joshua	o x z ™	home JB
2/18/2010	12:39:36 AM	o x z ™	joshua	No.
2/18/2010	12:39:38 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Not going..
2/18/2010	12:39:39 AM	joshua	o x z ™	what a coincidence
2/18/2010	12:39:43 AM	joshua	o x z ™	i dont see you here?
2/18/2010	12:39:45 AM	o x z ™	joshua	LOL
2/18/2010	12:39:51 AM	o x z ™	joshua	I don't know..
2/18/2010	12:39:57 AM	o x z ™	joshua	I don't see you here either..
2/18/2010	12:40:02 AM	joshua	o x z ™	thats weird
2/18/2010	12:40:12 AM	joshua	o x z ™	you are in home Jb too right?
2/18/2010	12:40:14 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Yeah..
2/18/2010	12:40:18 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Yeah.
2/18/2010	12:40:24 AM	o x z ™	joshua	How come I don't see you?
2/18/2010	12:40:27 AM	joshua	o x z ™	we may be in a different time
2/18/2010	12:40:28 AM	o x z ™	joshua	I go find you.
2/18/2010	12:40:29 AM	joshua	o x z ™	damn
2/18/2010	12:40:44 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Are you hiding under the sofa?
2/18/2010	12:40:48 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Ya..
2/18/2010	12:40:51 AM	joshua	o x z ™	shouldnt have walk into that room and press the button
2/18/2010	12:40:52 AM	joshua	o x z ™	no
2/18/2010	12:40:52 AM	o x z ™	joshua	What time are you at now?
2/18/2010	12:41:00 AM	joshua	o x z ™	12.40
2/18/2010	12:41:04 AM	o x z ™	joshua	What day?
2/18/2010	12:41:07 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Date?
2/18/2010	12:41:13 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Year?
2/18/2010	12:41:17 AM	joshua	o x z ™	16 Feb 2010
2/18/2010	12:41:23 AM	o x z ™	joshua	B.C. or A.D.
2/18/2010	12:41:25 AM	o x z ™	joshua	?
2/18/2010	12:41:29 AM	joshua	o x z ™	ad
2/18/2010	12:41:35 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Oh..
2/18/2010	12:41:50 AM	o x z ™	joshua	I'm at Feb 18 2010, A.D.
2/18/2010	12:42:46 AM	joshua	o x z ™	oh
2/18/2010	12:42:50 AM	joshua	o x z ™	2 days late
2/18/2010	12:42:50 AM	o x z ™	joshua	12:42am
2/18/2010	12:43:03 AM	joshua	o x z ™	i'll see you in 2 days time
2/18/2010	12:43:04 AM	o x z ™	joshua	lol
2/18/2010	12:43:06 AM	joshua	o x z ™	oh wait
2/18/2010	12:43:08 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Ya, maybe
2/18/2010	12:43:11 AM	o x z ™	joshua	No..
2/18/2010	12:43:16 AM	o x z ™	joshua	I'm here and I don't see you
2/18/2010	12:43:17 AM	joshua	o x z ™	you'll be in feb 20 then
2/18/2010	12:43:36 AM	o x z ™	joshua	So you probably wouldn't see me after 2 days
2/18/2010	12:43:53 AM	o x z ™	joshua	You shouldn't be here by then..
2/18/2010	12:44:09 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Oh yeah
2/18/2010	12:44:12 AM	o x z ™	joshua	That possible too..
2/18/2010	12:45:05 AM	joshua	o x z ™	yea
2/18/2010	12:45:07 AM	joshua	o x z ™	sucks
2/18/2010	12:45:12 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Ya..
2/18/2010	12:45:12 AM	joshua	o x z ™	when you going to nilai?
2/18/2010	12:45:18 AM	o x z ™	joshua	That means we'll never meet..
2/18/2010	12:45:19 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Sad.
2/18/2010	12:45:26 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Maybe tomorrow.
2/18/2010	12:45:34 AM	o x z ™	joshua	and maybe not..
2/18/2010	12:45:38 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Not sure..
2/18/2010	12:45:41 AM	joshua	o x z ™	okayy
2/18/2010	12:46:47 AM	o x z ™	joshua	LOL.
2/18/2010	12:46:54 AM	o x z ™	joshua	I'm posting this in my blog.
2/18/2010	12:47:02 AM	o x z ™	joshua	Thought you wanted to see blog update?
2/18/2010	12:47:11 AM	joshua	o x z ™	yea
2/18/2010	12:47:13 AM	joshua	o x z ™	finally
2/18/2010	12:47:18 AM	o x z ™	joshua	LOL

如果是在国外......

2009-12-02T23:21:00.006+08:00

高官一个又一个站出来，力挺国家干训局（Biro Tata Negara），仿佛不知道这个机构在做什么。

不，他们并不是脱节，他们只是选择冷漠。

干训局，继续吧，做你所要做的，不要受干预，不要作改变。

继续努力吧，还有很多年轻人的脑袋等着清洗，还有很多新生的心灵等着上色。

高官部长的子女，不会被派去参加这种课程。他们从小就被送去英国和澳洲的寄宿学校，他们不会了解，这个国家的政治怎么教年轻人。

然而，假设，只是假设，英国和澳洲当局，也有所谓的这种干训课程，高官的寄宿子女被迫参加。

白人讲师在台上说，白人是优秀的，高人一等；白人主导这个国家，不容挑战；你们这些黄皮肤和黑皮肤的外来民族听着，最好安分点，别想阿朱阿祖，要这个要那个。

还有，反对党都是一群坏屎，随时要卖国卖族，千万别让他们得逞。

高官子女听了，手脚冰冷，脸上一阵白一阵绿，但是，在白人讲师面前，低下头来，不敢作声。

这时，班上其他白人同学，集体站了起来，全体猛拍桌子，发出嘘声，表示抗议。

然后，一个脸上还长着雀斑的同学，发出宏亮的声音：

“先生，你的谈话只是你一个人的意见。并不代表我们都这么想。然而，作为一位讲师，你的言论已经伤害了我们说有人，不管我们是什么肤色。”

“你的谈话，违反了人人生而平等的原则，在这个自由而伟大的国家，没有人应该遭到这种歧视和污辱。”

“我们的同学们，不管他们是什么肤色和宗教，都享有同等的权利，不比我们多一分，也不比我们少一分。”

“我们将向有关当局抗议，你不配作为一个讲师，要求即刻炒你鱿鱼。”

“而我们之中，如果有任何人对你采取法律行动，我们绝对支持，并且准备上庭作证。”

说吧，全体学员全体离席抗议。

隔天，社区内阿公阿婆们，自发性的那起标语和布条，抗议社区内出现法西斯分子。他们高喊口号：“维护正义尊严，不容宗族歧视”，路过者鸣笛相应。

第三天，报纸报道事件，反对党作出谴责。

第四天，检察官准备控告那位讲师，政府宣布中止这类课程，并且深入调查事件，追究行政责任。

第五天，教育部派出心理辅导专家，向全体学员进行观察和辅导，避免他们受到该讲师的影响，务求学员心理没有留下阴影。

夜里，高官子女打电话回家，说明事件始末。高官听了，放心下来，说道：“爹地送你到外国寄宿，果然是正确的决定。”

摘自：言路 – 星洲日报 – 2009年10月30日 – 第26页
作者：郑丁贤 – 马荷加尼（星洲日报副总编辑）